How Long has it been?

Its been forever since I've posted a blog. Well not forever but you get the picture. So here's what's going on with me. (If anyone still reads this). I started teaching. I'm in the middle of my first year of teaching. Its been great so far. I'm finished with my certification class, and I feel so blessed to be at a christian school. Its great to be able to openly talk about God in your classes. I feel like we are able to hold our students to a higher standard and we have documentation to back us up. Also my students are great. They are genuinely good kids. Oh they talk and are late and still try to get out of their homework, but they really do show respect when its needed and they try, which is more than I can say for a lot of places. There are definitely things I don't understand here, such as how kids can just quit sports in the middle of the season without thinking about it. My parents would have never allowed that, but all in all its been good so far. Football season is about to kill. I had forgotten how much I just loved football and when kids that you love are playing it makes it all the worse. They will win, and if they don't, they have given it all they have without backing down and that makes me proud.

In other news, I'm burned out. I'm burned out on people not caring. Adults really. The singles ministry has gotten stale for me. People feel no commitment to it. People make commitments to do things and then drop them for their new boyfriend or girlfriend. And its starting to get to me. I'm starting to get bitter towards people and their choices. Consequently I'm thinking of stopping being involved in singles ministry. No one really feels likes its important so I'm not sure why I do. I really think it might be time to give it up.

So what's new with you??

The Best Laid Plans

So ... in case you didn't know, we're back in Houston. We landed from L.A. on Friday evening and slept in our own beds this past weekend. God did not have it in His plans for us to go to the Philippines. Although God did protect us the whole way. And some awesome people in the L.A. area rearranged their lives so that we could spend a day at the beach.

Yesterday the youth minister pointed out that in addition to satan attacking us as a group, he is attacking us each individually. I feel that, there is a spiritual battle going on here amongst our people. Please pray for the strength and courage to allow God to fight that for us.

Thank you all for your prayers and support. Know without a doubt that your prayers have been answered, we were safe and the will of the Father was accomplished.

24 Hours Later and still in Houston

For all of those who are wondering how our Philippines trip is going... as of now its not. We ran into a snag yesterday as the weather in Dallas wouldn't cooperate. After running to a different terminal, coming back, waiting... and waiting and waiting. We ran out of options for leaving yesterday. Props to our youth minister who did everything he could and still managed to keep everyone in high spirits. So we're going to try all we can to get there. The Holy Spirit was definitely working yesterday!! And the most amazing thing we saw was our teens breaking out in spontaneous prayer for this trip. They've worked so hard and are ready to share the Gospel in the Philippines. So join them in prayer that this trip happens. And if it doesn't, pray that God will open doors for them to share their faith right here or where ever He wants us to be. They've already started that by praying in a public place and praising God no matter what the circumstances. Awesome stuff going on... more updates to follow.

Just Do It

Whatever It Is
are you changing?
do you know it?
do you feel it?
do you know?

but youre waiting
while youre waiting
why are you waiting?
just do it - whatever it is

there are secrets
there are places
there are places you can go to
they might tell youy
eah theyll tell you
that you shouldnt
but do it - whatever it is
go do it - whatever it is
just do it - whatever it is

and youre dancing
and youre looking kinda crazy
and your arms are making little circles
there are reasons
there are reasons
you can find out
so do it - whatever it is
just do it - whatever it is
go do it - whatever it is
whatever it is

its so quiet
and youre dreaming
i turn to you and say
"awake is the new sleep"
so wake up
and do it - whatever it is
just do it - whatever it is
cos awake is the new sleep
awake is the new sleep
so wake upwake up
and do it - whatever it is
just do it - whatever it is
go do it - whatever it is
just do it - whatever it is
whatever it is

I guess its not that I don't know what I want.. its that I want everything

Today I made a decision. I turned down a job. A job that I would have been really good at and really enjoyed. Why did I turn it down? I have no idea. I couldn't make a decision and time was running out so I took the safe way out. As I sit here I'm debating whether or not I did the right thing. Everyone advised me... if its what will make you happy do it.. if you really want to do it, do it... the problem is that I don't know what I want to do. Or probably more accurately, I want to do it all. So instead of doing something, I do nothing. I sit and wait and wonder about things. I'm puzzeled. I want to do what God wants me to do, but how do you know when God is speaking to you. I know how God has spoken to me. I can look back and definitely see the hand of God in my life. But in the moment, I listen for his voice and can't hear it. I'm confused and wondering if I'm too scared to actually be the person that God wants me to be, or if He just has bigger things in mind.

6 White Shirts

So this is not what my closet looks like, however I was reading today about how to organize your closet. As some of you know, I'm an organizational freak. My roommates in college used to move the coffee table an inch just to wait and see when I would move it back. Yeah, I'm a little OCD, but in an orderly fashion (of course). So, I was reading about organization and it kept showing pictures like this. I have to say, this closet looks awesome, and your's can look this great too...IF all you're going to keep in your closet is 6 white shirts. I mean really, who has these contents or anywhere near this in their closet. Me, I have 6 white shirts... plus a million more, plus formals that I will never wear again, PLUS a fabulous USA 2000 dress (you really have to see it to appreciate it), plus... I can't let stuff go, where's the closet picture of that?

Changes

"I thought a lot over the break about how odd it is that family I've loved so much can choose paths that can hurt so much and how it gets to the point where I can't remember what it was like when things were good"

A friend of mine emailed this statement to me after we talked about my Christmas with my family. It might be one of the saddest statements I've ever heard. But it is so true. I love my family. I love them with all my heart. I hate sharing them. I love talking to them and laughing with them and laughing about our craziness. I love each of them for different reasons and for the same reason. My family is crazy and classy. Sometimes I wish I could be one of those people that could move away and just send presents and not ever wonder about my family. But I'm not. I can't be. I want to be around family and I want my family to be joyful and living in accordance to God's will. This Christmas I was reminded that my family is not the same, and won't be the same, and I'm not sure anyone but me really cares. I will continue to fight for my family even when I feel like giving up. I want my legacy to be a good one. I want when I die for people to say that I loved my family and would do anything for them. And above all I loved God.

Tagged

At the request of my Brother-in-law , I am doing this post... Don't forget to scroll to the end to see if you've been tagged.


Here we go:

Three things that scare me:

• Frogs
• Noises at night
• Not telling enough people about Jesus

Three people who make me laugh:

• Sean
• Michael Scott
• Myself (no really.. I crack myself up)

Three things I hate the most:

• having no personal space
• being tickled
• being lied to

Three things I don't understand:

• how the people on the commercials get their hair to look like that
• why men lose weight faster than women
• why the heck traffic is going so slow all the time

Three things I'm doing right now:

• Avoiding other work & study
• listening to the new guy at my work sing out loud
• cravinMexicanan food

Three things I want to do before I die:

• create a foundation for something that means something
• be a missionary
• travel (a lot!!)

Three things I can do:

• Tap dance
• calm almost any child
• calculate loan balances with just a regular calculator

Three ways to describe my personality:

• Silly
• bossy
• adventurous

Three things I can't do:

• go to sleep without the TV on
• lose the 5 lbs I so desperately need to (see above: me craviMexicancan food)
• register for dishes (darn rules about weddings and stuff)

Three things I think you should listen to:

• Late Night Case of the Blues by Roger Creager
• Romans by Jennifer Knapp
• Jesus

Three things you should never listen to:

• arrogant people
• car repairmen

Three things I'd like to learn:

• Greek
• ballet
• theory behind mortality tables (just in case my boss is reading this)
  

Three favorite foods:

• Mexican
Mexicanican
• Mexican

Three beverages I drink regularly:

• Water
• Coffee
• Caffeine Free Diet Pepsi

Three shows I watched as a kid:

• Bugs Bunny
• Pink Panther
• Tom and Jerry

Three people I'm tagging (to do this):

• Riz
• Hub
• Marilee (Its been since April.. I want an update)

Singles Ministry Retreat

This post is way late, but back in September our singles' ministry had their first leadership retreat. It was awesome. It was so great to see a group of people that God had totally brought to this place. It was great to see prayers answered for strong leaders in our ministry. And it was amazing to see how God was going to use each of us. I'm excited for where God is taking us and for the plan that he has. Everyone that knows me knows that singles ministries have been a burden that God has placed on my heart and its great to see God bringing things together. Pray for our ministry and others out there like it. Pray for the singles' hearts that we are trying to reach. Pray for Christ's church.

Without Condition

This song has come to mean a lot to me lately. I have come to find a lot of myself in these lyrics. How many times do we push things that we don't understand away and classify it as "weird" or "liberal" or "conservative" or.... Read the lyrics with an open heart.

You find this situation just a bit uncomfortable;
You'd rather stay far away from reality.
For you to understand would be clearly impossible;
So you shut your eyes and swear you can see.
Claiming there is a God, but does that mean anything?

So condescending to those that you don't understand;
Just too easy to make them your enemies.
Like an ostrich, you bury your head in the sand,
And then shout about all the things you believe.
But if there is a God, don't you think He can see
What you really mean? What you're doing?

Chorus:
You can't find the answers
Till you learn to question;
You won't appear stupid
Just ask for direction.
You're insecure and it clouds your perception
So stop and listen
And learn a lesson in love without condition.

So place all the souls that you know in their own little box;
Quite convenient to handle them that way;
You're the only one you know who carries a cross
You don't care what they care about anyway.
You talk to your God,
Prayin' for those who sin,
For their eyes to be opened

Chorus:
You can't find the answers
Till you learn to question;
You won't appear stupid
Just ask for direction.
You're insecure and it clouds your perception
So stop and listen
And learn a lesson in love without condition.

~Ginny Owens

Let's try to learn the lesson in love without condition and pass that on to people around us.

Registration Day

"Think about it. If you are single, after graduation there isn't one occasion where people celebrate you ... Hallmark doesn't make a "congratulations, you didn't marry the wrong guy" card. And where's the flatware for going on vacation alone? " - Carrie Bradshaw

So my birthday is coming up... I will once again be turning 25. And I've decided. I want nice dishes. There's no reason that I should hang around with the things I have and pine for the day that I can walk down that aisle, the Target aisle that is, and register. So I've decided to pick dishes out and let everyone that buys me presents (all two of them) know what I want. I've already gotten comments about "is it your wedding", "are you going to register" and you know what I think.. I think single people should register. Like I said why should I continue to scramble my eggs in a skillet that is as old as I am just because I've decided to wait for the right guy? If anyone deserves to eat on special dishes it should be those that dine alone...

So let me hear it, what are things that society makes you wait until your married to own or do (aside from the obvious one.. let's refrain ourselves please) that you think you should be able to have or do now and do so proudly...

For you guys

But most of all I miss my friend
The one my heart and soul confided in
The one I felt the safest with
The one who knew just what to say to make me laugh again
And let the light back in
I miss my friend

I miss the colors that you brought into my life
Your golden smile, those blue-green eyes
I miss your gentle voice in lonely times like now
Saying it'll be alright

I miss my friend
The one my heart and soul confided in
The one I felt the safest with
The one who knew just what to say to make me laugh again
And let the light back in
I miss my friend

I miss those times
I miss those nights
I even miss the silly fights
The making up
The morning talks
And those late afternoon walks

I miss my friend
The one my heart and soul confided in
The one I felt the safest with


....
Ok so I know this song is about the woman that the guy loves, but take out all the love stuff and it really applies to my friends. And it hit me last night... I try to push the feelings back and try to be a big grown up, but when it comes down to it. I miss my friends. I miss the people that know me inside out. The ones that know the answers to the generic questions of what do I do, where am I from, what do I want to do with my life. I miss the people that get my jokes and get me. I miss the ones that know that I'm quiet in the morning, not because I'm mad just because I don't have the energy. I miss the people, that will call me out when I'm being weird and have the right to do so because they KNOW me. I miss being able to cry without something being wrong and laughing for no reason, and being silly with people that really truly care about me. I miss the people that know me inside and out and love me just the same. The ones that I can be honest with and they won't ever hold it against me or bring it up again. Who take me for what I am and appreciate every part of me. You guys do that and I love you for it and I miss you so deeply that it hurts.

I know we have to be adults and move on and do our lives differently because we're each so different. But I can't express how much I appreciate those differences in you and how much I love that you appreciate the differences in me. I love you guys... have a great weekend!!

Don't Cry Shop Girl

"First let me warn you, I may cry. Now these are not tears of sadness or anger but of me having this conversation with you" - Rachel from Friends

Why is it that girls cry when having confrontation? This week I went through some work stuff and literally had to hold back my tears at some points. Was I sad? No Was I angry? No. I was just having to stand up for myself and I almost cried.

A few years ago I quit my job to come to the current company I'm with now. I cried when I quit that job. I have no clue why I cried. I was moving to a better company with better benefits and more training and more money!! But I didn't like letting my employer down. It was almost like a break up and I had been out cheating on them interviewing with another company. I had to convince them that it wasn't them it was me, I just needed something else. Its very stressful.

Last week I had lunch with a couple ministers from my church to talk about the singles' ministry. I almost cried during that lunch. I don't know why. There was nothing intimidating about it and it was a really great lunch with a lot of positive things coming out of it.

I think this is a common problem with women... we cry at odd times for odd reasons, sometimes for no reason at all. So fill me in... when have you cried in weird times.

P.S. I was not crying while I wrote this :)

Spread the Word

In honor of my friend Sara Watterson please check this out...


Hey everyone! My friend Sara has started a new business and I thought you all might like to see it. Check it out online at www.photocardcafe.com. If you want, put a link to this website on your blog if you have one. It would really help her out!

What Happens at Church Camp....

So I just got back from Camp Imani and it was a blast. I had almost forgotten how much I really love things like that. Ahhh the mountain top, if only we could stay there forever. It was difficult to come back to work. Its times like camp that make me rethink going in to full time ministry. I know a couple of my readers have always been pulling for that. So just pray for me. I feel God calling me, I have no idea where though.

The Storm

There are times when I feel a calm and times when I feel a storm. This is one of those times that I feel a storm. I am waiting for the eye of the storm so that I know its almost over, but I can't see the eye. I only feel the strong winds and the limbs breaking all around me. Some times during the storm I feel stronger than ever, I feel like I can conquer anything and I have faith that Jesus will say "Peace, Be Still". Then other times I feel lost, swept up in the winds and the waves and far away from the shore. I know the storm will end, I just don't know what will be destroyed when it is over and what will suprisingly be still standing when it is over. Kind of like tornadoes where one house is totally demolished and the one right next to it is perfect. I wonder which will be which when the sun comes out. But while I wait I find this song comforting. And while the storm rages on, I will praise God because He is here through it all and worthy of our praise in good times and bad.

Praise You In the Storm
~Casting Crowns

I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again,
I say Amen, and it's still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear
Your whisper through the rain "I'm with you"
And as You mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I'll praise You in this storm
And I will life my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I rwhen Ier whenI stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear
You whisper through the rain"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

Ummm??? (shocked face)

What happened America?

I couldn't believe it!! And not only could I not believe it... it seems that Katherine couldn't believe it either. I think Elliot has it all now. And as my final plea... please get Taylor out of there.

I Have Nothing to Wear

So I was listening to the radio on my daily commute and one of the DJ's was going to the Bon Jovi concert that night. After I got over my jealousy, I realized that they were talking about the fact that she had picked out her outfit two weeks before the concert. Well, the male DJ couldn't believe that anyone would plan their outfit that far in advance. He called it a sickness several times.

I have to admit that I plan my outfits way in advance. Basically the minute I decide to do something I think about what I'm going to wear. Of course sometimes this changes last minute and sometimes I end up buying something new.

So the question remains, is this a sickness? And if it is, how many of you out there have it?

80's Songs That Speak to the Heart

I have a confession to make... Girls do just wanna have fun. Its not a lie. Cyndi Lauper really knew what she was talking about. I know that all of you out there think that girls need to be serious and sensitive, but when the working day is done, girls just wanna have fun. And today, I just wanna have fun. I'm sitting at work in the Dallas office, bored to tears. Well not totally bored, I have plenty of people to email and keep me occupied. But I can't wait to get out of here. I'm tired and anxious and unsettled. I just want to go have fun. Its weird how work can be SO boring....

48% Of Marriages End in Divorce

I have good news and bad news. The bad news first... the love of my life is married. I went to go see him (Roger Creager - for those of you that are not my friends and don't know that) My brother gave me the best birthday/christmas present ever... Tickets to the Texans/KC Chiefs game. I know, I know the Texans are not that great this year, but Roger was playing prior to the game and we were basically one step away from being on stage with him. Everything was going well, we had met some nice people, no one had offered us rum or referred to me as my brothers "quote, unquote sister" and then it happened. Roger started talking about his "wife". I've never been so sad in all my life. Then at dinner my friend J.G. offered a great piece of encouragement "48% of marriages end in divorce"... so there is still hope. So here's to hoping!!